


How I met your Mother

by Moonstone215



Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017), Legend of the Three Caballeros (Cartoon), The Three Caballeros (1944)
Genre: Gay, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:01:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25352098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonstone215/pseuds/Moonstone215
Summary: Donald and José goes to visit their boyfriend's ranch in Jalisco. But Donald makes a terrible impression with Panchito's mom. Not on purpose of course.
Relationships: Donald Duck/Panchito Pistoles, José Carioca/Donald Duck, José Carioca/Donald Duck/Panchito Pistoles, José Carioca/Panchito Pistoles
Comments: 2
Kudos: 61





	How I met your Mother

**Author's Note:**

> This randomly came to me one morning when I was eating spaghetti.

"Hey! What's with all the shoving?!"

Donald squawked, his Brazilian boyfriend holding onto his Panama hat as the two of them were hurried to the front door. Their other boyfriend, a red rooster, turned to beam at him, making all of his anger dissipate in mere seconds.

"Oh Donal! I just can't wait for both of you to meet my mother! She was in Puebla the first time you two came over so she is only one left for the both of you to see!"

He excitedly babbled, jumping up and down like a child. He moved them aside once they reached the door and quickly reached to look for his keys in his pocket. Donald huffed at his lack of patience which made José chuckle and peck his cheek.

"Meu pato inpaciente~" (My impatient duck~)

"Oh knock if off, will ya?!"

Donald yelled but his smile and blush gave him away. Donald was a very difficult lover, the top of José's list indeed. But he has never been in more love than with the two beauties in front of him. The dozens of others paled in comparison.

"Ah here it is! Donal, quick! Fix your feathers!"

Panchito licked his thumb and wiped Donald's bristled feathers that emerged with his love struck expression. Donald scrunched his now slobber covered face but Panchito was already pushing them through the door before he could wipe it off.

"LLEGAMOS FAMILIA! LOS TRES CABALLEROS!" (WE ARRIVED FAMILY! THE THREE CABALLEROS!)

The whole house shook and rumbled with the rooster's yell. The familiar faces they saw in their last visit appeared right away to greet them once more.

"Hola hijos! Nice to see you again!"

Panchito's father locked the two of them in a hearty handshake that mirrored his son's. Panchito ran to give him a big hug before fast balls of red tackled Donald to the floor.

"Pato! Pato! Pato!"

A set of triplets cheered, latching themselves onto his white feathers. Panchito's little brothers loved Donald from the moment they saw him. Donald never understood why but they did remind him of his nephews so he returned their hug right away.

"Why I'll be damned! You three certainly have your brother's tackle!"

He laughed nervously, fearing one day they will break his hip. José hovered next to him, not really sure what to do while Panchito conversed with his father in fast Spanish. Donald figured Panchito's other cousins and older sister must have not been home since they never emerged into the living room. José had always nagged at the rooster to actually call in advance if he wanted to visit but Panchito insisted a surprise was way more cooler. So there was bound to not be a full house waiting for them.

"Y Mama? Donde esta?"(And Mama? Where is she?)

"Il Baño. No te preocupes. Le gustarán tus novios!" (The bathroom. Don't worry. She'll like your boyfriends!)

"Gracias Papa."

Panchito finished, giving him one last hug before walking back to his boyfriends. José was holding in his chuckles while he tried to pull off the triplets who were starting to bite Donald. Donald screeched and spazed out, another beak full of feathers disappearing off of his chest.

"Alright niños. Let go of Donal."

"Okay!"

The triplets obeyed, running off to do whatever 4 year olds do. Donald groaned from the floor before an umbrella nearly broke his neck heaving him off the floor.

"Look alive Donald! Señora Pistoles is coming!"

José pointed to the staircase, where a large rooster was making her way downstairs. Her beautiful silver cross, white blouse, and colorful skirt caught their attention as she rushed to embrace Panchito's waiting form.

"Mi hijo! You have came!"

_Smack!_

"Call in advance next time! Pendejo! I would have went to Puebla some other time if you did!"

Panchito rubbed his head but his grin never left his face.

"Ah si. Okay mama."

Mrs. Pistoles put down her chancla in approval before her gaze fell on the two of them. José smiled back charmingly but Donald just kept staring like an idiot.

"Oh! Are these your novios?! Hola chamacos!"

She grinned and pulled them in for a hug. She stepped back to look at them closer while Panchito hovered to her right.

"Sí Mama! This is Donal Duck from the United States and José Carioca from Brasil!"

"Ola Mrs. Pistoles! Pleasure to meet you! Your smile is just as beautiful as your son's"

Jose kissed her hand and bowed. Panchito blushed but smiled in satisfaction at his good first impression. His mother also smiled and agreed before turning to the still gaping Donald.

"..."

"Donal?"

Panchito whispered, nervous at his growing silence.

"..."

"Are you okay Donald?"

Jose's concerned voice also pried. Still nothing.

"Donald is it? Do you need to lay dow-"

"You are big."

Donald whispered but it was loud enough to silence the whole room. Panchito stared horrified while Jose couldn't help but puff his cheeks to contain his laughter. Donald didn't notice his words, continuing to marvel at her size before she crossed her arms.

"That I am. Is that what you think I am?"

"You are huge! I never thought Panchito would have a huge mother with his lanky shape! You are really something toots!"

Another silence. José bit his tongue down hard to keep his bubbling laughter down but Panchito held the opposite reaction. He looked like he has seen the deepest pits of Hell, his feathers becoming a pale shade of red.

"I see. It was nice to meet you José. And Donald. I am going to cook dinner now. Make yourself at home."

She looked at José only for her last few words and marched out of the living room. Once a big slam was heard, Panchito released a breath he didn't know he was holding while José did too. But his breath was laughter.

"HUEHUEHUEHUE! DONAL! I LOVE YOU BUT YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT SOMETIMES! HUEHUE!"

"Donal! My mother is so mad with you! I told you on the plane to not mention her size!"

"You did?"

His confused voice made Panchito frown and added more fuel to José's laughter.

*Flashback noises*

_"Okay you two. Another thing. Do not mention my mother's size. She is really insecure about it, okay?"_

_"Sim. Do not worry amor. All sizes are beautiful! I do not need to speak of it."_

_"Thanks Ze! Did you hear Donal?"_

_"Hm? What? Oh, yeah. Yeah."_

_Donald peeked up from his boyfriends' nudes on his phone for a millisecond before he nodded them off._

Flashback ends

"Oh. Hehe..."

Donald rubbed his arm as Jose finally stopped laughing and wiped his tears. Panchito let out a shaky breath before he sat down on the couch.

"You need to fix this Donal. I don't want her to hate you."

He sadly sighed, bringing his knees to his chest. These two birds meant everything to him. But so did his mother's approval. If he didn't get it, he'll be miserable everytime he comes over with them. Donald noticed his sadness and frowned. He was just being honest.

"Uh.. Don't worry Panchito. I'll make it up somehow."

He promised, sitting down next to him. He hesitated before he grabbed his hand and squeezed it. Donald wasn't as affectionate as his boyfriends so it made Panchito do a 180 and grin.

"Thanks Donal! Now I got a plan. You have to impress her during dinner. Dinner is her favorite time of day!"

"Huh?! But how? What's so impressive about me?"

"Do I have to hit you with my umbrella again Donald?!"

Jose uncharacteristically growled, raising his umbrella like he was going to beat his ass. Donald yelped and dug himself deeper to Panchito's side.

"No! Im good!"

"Good. We had this talk already. You are a great adventurer, an amazing uncle, and one of the most honorable fighters the navy has ever seen! You will impress the chanclas off of her!"

"Ah.. alright."

His white feathers were as red as Panchito's as he was pulled up by said bird.

"Let's start by setting up the table! Quick! Fix your feathers!"

Another slobbered covered finger rubbed his cheek, making him grumble.

"So Mrs. Pistoles.. I heard you were born in Bahia."

"Oh sí! I grew up there until I was 6! It is very beautiful!"

"Indeed! Me and Donal have been there! Right Donal?"

José nudged the duck next to him, making him hack on his food. José sat on Mrs. Pistoles' right side while Panchito looked at them from her left. He has always been a Mama's boy so that left Donald to sit in between José and the triplets.

"Oh! Uhh... Sure! It was beautiful! All the ladies were too! Hot damn!"

He gushed, remembering the first time José took him to Bahia. He felt a kick to his shin which made him flinch and saw José narrow his eyes. Oh, right. He forgot his talk of women usually made Panchito laugh but José feel a bit.. well, jealous. He also noticed Mrs. Pistoles frowning from her place.

'Your language!'

A mini version of José's voice rang in his head, his new voice of reason. He had to impress before the dinner was over. And fast.

"But not as beautiful as José and Panchito of course. Now that's something I would find Bahia beautiful for."

He saw José 'OwO' at his words and Mrs. Pistoles lose her frown. He cheered internally and it looked like Panchito was too. He did it!

"Pato!"

One of the triplets cheered, launching a spoonful of food in his face. Panchito quickly shot up from his seat, knowing what was about to happen.

"Donal!"

"GYAAAAAAHHH!!"

The duck stood up and waved his arms up and down. José dodged his swinging hands just in time and wrapped his arms around his lover's waist.

"Donal! What are you screaming ab-"

The table flipped over, sending it's contents crashing to the floor as the duck continued to jump up and down and bump into chairs. Panchito grabbed his face right away and splashed his glass of water into it.

"A cloth! Ze! Give me something to wipe with!"

José threw him his handkerchief and Panchito quickly swiped his yelling face with it. His yells reduced to labored breathing as his blurry teary eyes tried to open.

"Wha..what?"

"There there. Mi pobre patito. You got salsa thrown into your eyes."

"Maybe you should take him to the bathroom hijo."

Mr. Pistoles sympathetically offered, starting to pick up shards of plates from the floor. Panchito nodded at his father's words and led Donald to the bathroom, Jose hot on his tail. The sound of Mrs. Pistoles yelling made Panchito wince as he slammed the door once they were inside.

"What was that?!"

Donald asked through his tears, sniffing as the sound of the facet was turned on.

"Erm.."

Panchito looked nervous, wetting José's handkerchief and trying to clean it's contents.

"Chito.."

José pressed on, his boyfriend biting his tongue before he sighed depressingly.

"Well... Donal you kinda... broke her.. grandmother's antique dishes.."

Panchito whispered that last part, but it was clearly heard. Donald groaned and let the back of his head hit the wall while Jose swore under his breath. Not only did Donald ruin dinner, Mrs. Pistoles FAVORITE meal, but he also broke her very dear plates. She was probably very furious with him!

"She'll never forgive me.."

Donald let Panchito dab his face while José stroked his hand. Panchito remained silent, letting him know that he did agree but didn't want to make him upset any further. He really was a screw up.

Donald stared at the glowing stars stuck on Panchito's bedroom ceiling, not finding the heart to sleep. The crickets filled the cool night sky outside with their melody and yet, it did nothing to ease Donald to his dreams. He sighed and looked to his lovers, who were huddled close together on the right side of the bed. José had his arms wrapped around the rooster, who had curled into his body and buried his head into his green feathers with distress. His mother had just told him earlier that night that she wanted them to leave early in the morning.

"Im sorry Panchito.."

Donald whispered, feeling horrible that this day was so awful for them. He sat up and looked out his window, taking in the starry night. He smiled at the moon, remembering when the three first shared an intimate moment under it's light.

_"Do-Donal! You are going too fast!"_

_José breathed out, pulling his wrapped arms away from his neck. Donald rolled his eyes and stopped midway, putting his hands on his hips._

_"I thought you liked fast!"_

_"Well not too fast! Panchito likes it too fast! I like to relax and really ah.. enjoy it."_

_"Oh hurry up Ze! You have to let me ride you next!"_

_Panchito moaned, impatiently tapping his foot from behind them._

_"You wait your turn!"_

_Donald yelled back, beginning to grow tired from José's weight. Just as he was about to start again, a flash of light made him yelp and throw José off of him._

_"Ow! My beak!"_

_"AHA! I KNEW YOU THREE WERE- huh?! Why are your clothes still on?"_

_Xandra confusingly asked, the three of them squinting at her bright form._

_"Um. Why exactly would they be off exactly?"_

_"Yeah! What's the big idea?!"_

_Donald grumbled, rubbing his temporarily blinded eyes. Xandra blinked stupidly before she shook her head._

_"What were you three doing before I arrived?!"_

_"Giving each other piggy back rides! It was Donal's turn before you interrupted."_

_"Yeah! Now buzz off! I need to finish José's!"_

_Donald waved at her like an annoying fly. Xandra looked very disappointed but pulled out her book and nodded._

_"Well okay then. Carry on."_

_She was gone in a flash, leaving the three of them blind again. They rubbed their eyes again before they sighed, the mood now ruined._

_"Well.. that's that."_

_"Yep."_

_Silence._

_"So.. do you guys want to have sex?"_

_"Sure."_

_"Okay."_

No.

It couldn't end like this. Donald had to fix what he did. He made a silent promise to Panchito and he will not break it. He looked one last time to his boyfriends, Panchito's small whimper making Jose unconsciously bring him closer to his chest by the waist. They were definitely worth it. He stood up quietly and walked out the room, trying to navigate in the dark. He did not know where Mrs. Pistoles' room was but he sure as hell was not going to give up

'Do it for them. Do it for them!'

He continued to fumble in the dark before he heard shuffling in the kitchen. He followed it. As luck would have it, there was Mrs. Pistoles, holding something her hands. Her back was facing him and she seemed to be huddled in her chair. Donald didn't know if this moment was private but he cleared his throat anyways.

"Mrs. Pistoles?"

She jumped and turned her head quickly to look at him. Seeing who had just called her, she frowned but turned her body slightly to give him her attention.

'Well here goes nothing.'

"I just wanted to say... that Im sorry. The way I acted was terrible. I don't deserve your amazing son and I disrespected you in your own home. Please. If you are going to kick us out tomorrow morning, let it just be me. Panchito and José had no part in my behavior. I understand if you hate me.. you wouldn't be the first.."

Donald lowered his head. It was true. Lots of people didn't like his awful voice and huge temper. José's nephews, when he first introduced them to each other, preferred Panchito over him right away. That did sting and Josè noticed, later lecturing his nephews over being careless.

About to turn on his heel, a chuckle made him jolt and turn back. Mrs. Pistoles sent him a half smile but her eyes looked.. almost sad. Understanding.

"Donald. I don't hate you."

"What?!"

His jaw dropped to the floor. That made no sense. Was he dreaming?!

"But I called you huge! I ruined dinner and your plates! I have a foul mouth and temper a-and my voice is hideous!"

"Come here."

She turned her back to him. Donald stared stupidly but when she never turned around, he did as he was told and walked over. When he did, he caught sight of a photograph in her hands.

"That is me."

Mrs. Pistoles pointed to a short chubby rooster with big glasses and a shy smile.

"And that is Josefina Gonzalez."

She shifted her finger to a small light brown duck next to her. The girl was very pretty, with thick eyelashes,  
green eyes, and a birthmark on her cheek. Donald gaped at how different the two of them looked together but Mrs. Pistoles continued.

"She was my best friend here in middle school. And the most popular girl too. Her father was from Spain and owned a very successful business so she was very rich."

Donald tilted his head. Why was she telling this to him?

"One day. She invited me to her house in the fancy parts of Guadalajara. I was very nervous. Her father was very strict and I wanted to leave a good impression with him so that he would let us hang out more."

Mrs. Pistoles chuckled again, this time her eyes filled with mirth. She brushed her feathers back and kept her big smile.

"I made such a fool of myself! I showed up sweaty after working in the market, I spilled wine on his expensive carpet, I cursed a lot with Josefina, and I even broke a vase. I knew it was hopeless."

She handed him the photograph.

"I ran to the bathroom and cried. Josefina's father was clear with his distaste. I was short, fat, and poor too. How could anyone like me? It was a miracle Josefina did."

Donald understood. He definitely understood. Because he felt like that everyday. Panchito and Josè were way out of his league. So why did they love him so much? Especially when everyone else didn't?

"And then the door opened. There stood a beautiful brown duck. And she hugged me right away. She was Josefina's mother. I asked her why she was being so nice to me. Why she didn't hate me. And she told me it was because it was not my fault. She recognized my anxiety, knew my sweat proved I was a hard worker. Cursing was expected from teens, she appreciated that the curses I used was more aimed at predicaments or situations than people. She acknowledged that I was a being with flaws. And she loved me for that. If you lead with kind intentions Donald, that means a lot. People mess up. People aren't perfect. But they are still lovable."

Donald teared up. Could what she said be true? He didn't care, he launched himself into her arms. Her hugs were just like Panchito's. Warm, safe, loving. He felt her form rumble with laughter.

"Her dad never hated me anyways. He was just angry. I was too Donald. But I don't hate you. My son would never hang out with a bad person. Ever. And I was not kicking you out. I was going to cook chili and the fumes are enough to make you have a coughing fit. You three will just explore the town until I finish. That's all."

Donald sighed with relief. A big burden flew from his chest as he smiled and pulled away. She returned his smile and started to stand up.

"Whatever did happen to Josefina?"

"Oh she was murdered and had her organs stolen."

"WHAT?!!"

"Jajaja! Im kidding. She lives in Puebla now! I went to visit her last time. Her parents moved to Spain with her younger brother though but I heard they are healthy."

Donald chuckled nervously at his scare and nodded. He nearly flew across the room when Mrs. Pistoles smacked his back in a friendly manner and started to shoo him.

"A mir mir now hijo! You got to wake up early tomorrow!"

"Donald!"

A yell interrupted her shooing. Both of them turned to see Panchito and José halt at the doorway. Their ruffled feathers, panicked expressions, and their hands interlocked made him and Mrs. Pistoles smile fondly.

"Um.. yeah?"

"We woke up and you weren't there! And José was like _Eeekk! Where's meu patito?! PaNCHito! HElP!_ "

"And Panchito was like _Ayyy! Ze! SAve HIM! Can't you see my arms are twIgs?!_ "

"My arms are not twi-! AY!!"

He was interrupted when Donald launched himself into them for an embrace. They were too shocked to even return it. Their Donald initiated the affection first?! Without being asked or grumbling embarrassingly about it?! It was as rare as Panchito being angry or José stressing out.

"Donal wha-"

"Thank you for loving me for who I am. I love you so much."

They continued to gape stupidly before a sandal connected with the back of their heads.

"Well don't just stand there with your beaks open boys! Hug him back!"

Mrs. Pistoles nagged with her hands on her hips. They quickly obeyed and returned his embrace, Donald laughing afterwards while they rubbed their heads.

"Oh boy! What a day!"

"Yes. What a day. Now off you go boys! To sleep!"

Mrs. Pistoles shooed them with a broom she got out of no where into the hallway. Squawks escaped their beaks at the hurried pushing but they still wore their smiles. Once they reached Panchito's room, Donald was quickly caught in a kiss by the rooster.

"Thanks Donal. For keeping your promise.. You are the most lovable duck I have ever met."

"Aw shucks.."

Donald blushed, letting José lead both of them back to bed. Panchito grinned at his expression and smeared yet another wet finger to press down his feathers.

"Quick Donal.. fix yourself. You are just too cute!"

"The cutest."

José added sleepily, scooping Panchito to his chest like before. Panchito did the same to Donald before the two let themselves be enveloped in sleep. Donald stayed awake for a few more moments, gazing at the glowing stars on the ceiling again before he looked back at his sleeping lovers. He smiled and closed his eyes, snuggling just a bit closer.

"For a duck who screws things up, I will admit. I am the most luckiest duck in the world." 

José and Panchito couldn't agree more.

**Author's Note:**

> Bonus:  
> 
> 
> Courtesy of me. 2nd pic anyways.


End file.
